Nine? More like a Minus Ten!

I have just suffered through undoubtedly the worst film I have ever seen. Absolutely mind-numbingly boring. Really, on a scale of 1-10, it scored a minus 10. And that's being very generous.

I’m talking about the movie “Nine”. A group of us went along tonight to see it and after the first half hour I started wondering if there was any way I could just nip out to the ladies and keep right on going out the door….

How can a movie starring six Academy Award-winning actors be such a bore?

Lots of striding through corridors stooped over and looking despairing and leaping into a sporty little car and zooming through the streets by Daniel Day-Lewis as Guido Contini. The legendary Judy Dench - she had a bustier on at one stage and that’s just plain wrong! And what was with the smoking? That’s not particularly “p.c” these days, but in every scene there they were, lighting up a cigarette.

And there was the delectable Fergie (The Black Eyed Peas), Nicole Kidman (I’m sorry, but I still don’t believe she can act), the immortal Sophia Loren, who, at 76 years of age, still looks amazing, the stunning Penelope Cruz, Kate Hudson and Marion Cotillard - wow! – what a line-up! And still, the movie was B.A.D.

Best piece of advice I can give you? Avoid it like the plague unless you enjoy paying to be bored senseless for 2 hours.